So I decided to deactivate my Facebook account as an experiment.

I noticed myself sometimes unwinding by surfing the newsfeed to catch up on people’s updates.  “Being social” in your pjs on your couch is tempting!

Most of my close relationships though are relationships that have nothing to do with Facebook.  We connect by seeing each other face to face. Which I love.

As our world gets more digitized, I find myself craving more and more real connection.  Not the digital kind, but the kind you get hanging out with someone or hanging out with people you care about or even just met.

Remember the times when you could sit on the streetcar and everyone would stare out the window or strike up a conversation with the people nearby (rather than catch up on their texting)?

Or the feeling you get when you see a friend’s face that you haven’t seen in a while.  Seeing each other in person, trumps any Facebook update.

It would be interesting to see some sort of study that assessed the correlation between seeing our friends face to face and the increase of digital social media, such as Facebook and Instagram.  “No need to venture out in the snow to see Joe for a catch up, I saw his Facebook updates and am already all up to speed on his family vacation to Hawaii“.  But am I?  What were the details beyond the “posed” family pictures?  What is the real update????

I also think Facebook has a knack for taking people out of the present moment.  In seconds, you can become immersed in “Joe’s” pictures from his family trip, while you are in some other moment in your day.  If you are doing something fun, why not just enjoy that moment?  Or if you are in some moment that you are not particularly enjoying,  will seeing images of someone else in Hawaii really improve the moment you are in?  Or make you feel more resistance?   Where is the “win”?

I was recently speaking to a mom in a park who confided in me that every time she goes on Facebook she gets depressed, as the newsfeed makes it seem “like everyone else’s life is so great and hers just seems like it is falling short”.  “Facebook makes you feel like you are falling short in one way or another” she said.

There are a few things though that I DO really like about Facebook:

1. I do not need to remember or keep up with everyone’s phone numbers and email addresses.  There is no risk of being in a situation, where you want to reconnect with someone, but you don’t have their email address. With Facebook, you have their little “face” icon, and that is all you need.
2. I do like how it is an easy way to invite people to events or keep up with functions you want to go to.  Like my friend Melanie’s CD release.  I would have never known about it if not for getting the “event” invite on Facebook. Who knows everyone’s email addresses now a days? Although I am trying to get back up to speed with them.
3. It is also a great tool to document your life and the lives of people you love.  My kids have pictures on their Facebook accounts (which are marked private), that have been posted since they were born.  It is a live soft copy scrapbook, that requires no developing or organization. Tagging only. Great.  I have been experimenting with posting and then disabling right away, so I at least can keep the photo scrap book piece.

So we shall see how this experiment goes and where I land …..  Maybe I can figure out a way to have some sort of “hybrid” account…. =)